PriorBlog

Yesterday one of the plates on my bicycle chain came loose on the ride to work, and instead of soft pedaling home I opted to take public transportation.  It’d been a while since I had taken the T home from work, and so I was a little rusty when it came to things like rushing down to the platform to stand outside an empty train, only to find out five minutes later, that another train, on another platform would be taking me into the city, but not before it sat dumbly on the track for five to ten minutes.

I spent the time getting my grumpy on, dwelling on my nearly broken bicycle chain, the fact that I haven’t been running lately, all the crap I have to get done, yadda yadda yadda.  Meanwhile, some dopey kid with a Razor scooter and his pal get on the train.  He wasn’t really a kid, so much as a young adult, and the scooter wasn’t so much a mode of transportation but a badge proclaiming him a free spirit.  So, the kid then, is looking around the train all self righteous, and lecturing his pal with this smug sense of bravado.

Though a non-believer at heart I sent a small prayer up asking for the train to jerk forward and send him reeling from his scooter.  Unfortunately, if there was a conversion experience on the redline yesterday it didn’t involve me.

Then the kid is pointing out to his friend that everybody on the T sits a seat apart from everybody else. “It’s like they’re afraid of one another,” and as if to illustrate how silly this is, and to suggest maybe that everybody should sit as close as humanly possible to one another, he plops himself between to people who wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

I was very tempted to say to nobody in particular, “oh look, Holden Caulfield is on the train today,” but I didn’t for any number of reasons, some of which I will go over now, so that you can get a better look at how exactly I think. 

1. For the most party I am personally very averse to confrontation of all kinds.
2. I wasn’t sure that anybody else on the train would get it.
3. I wasn’t sure I would really get it either since, truth be told, I have never really read Catcher in the Rye.
4. I didn’t feel like the price paid for combatting his ridiculousness (i.e. me suddenly becoming the old crank) was worth it.
5. I knew that I could seek passive-aggresive refuge in my blog and compain about him there.

Do you go to Shaws Supermarket?

A lot of people do. In Boston, Shaws just might be the most popular supermarket around. Just about every neighborhood has one, and those neighborhoods that don’t have one, if there are any, probably want one.

When you are inside a Shaws, you can’t help but notice how clean and well laid out all of the aisles are, and how this makes things so easy to find. There is one exception, a certain dirty messy Shaws that I won’t bother to name here, but all of the others I have been to have been everything a supermarket could ever aspire to be.

The bottom line is: Shaws is where it’s at!

I don’t mean to brag or anything, but guess who is a VIP at Shaws?

Mayor Menino?

Maybe, but guess again. Stumped?

The answer is me. This afternoon I received my special Shaws card. Now, no matter which Shaws I go to, all I have to do is show them my premium membership card and I get all sorts of special deals. For example, most people would have to pay $.79 for a candy bar. Well, if I buy two of those candy bars, I get two more FOR FREE!

Now, I don’t think it’s necessary to abuse these privileges. After all, the reason I have this card is because I am a respectable person, and respectable people don’t go around buying 45 cases of Coca-cola just because they are half off through Sunday. Respectable people like myself, card members, know that there will always be a deal waiting for them at Shaws, and stocking up ridiculously on provisions like Coca-Cola is something for people who shop at BJ’s or Costco. There is a bond of trust between us and our supermarket, the knowledge that we will always, despite the looming threat of a nuclear armed Iran, be there for one another.

What was that? You say you would like to go shopping with me? Well now. This relationship is something you have to earn. You can’t just leech off a member in the same way you can’t just become a member. You have to establish a relationship with this institution that shows you possess those same attributes and virtues that Shaws required to become what it is today. Once they get to know you, they will give you a look, a look of familiarity possibly. Something that tells them you are worth investing in. And they will ask you, “Do you have a Shaws card?” And then you will ask them how to get one, and before you know it, trust will have VALUE!

Together, Shaws and you will forge ahead to a bright new future!