PriorBlog

As you might have guessed, I eventually scared off that 419 scammer. Here is my last letter to him, written by my “pilot”, who, as you might recall, was going to fly me into Bangkok from Singapore:

To: Waleed Babiker:

Sir, attention, sir. I will be flying my plane into Thai territory on July 4, and will need you to forward to me clearance from the Thai authorities immediately. Attention, sir. This is very important. Without clearance I run the risk of having SAMs fired at me as soon as we cross the border. For your information, sir, I was an ace in the Pakistani Air Force. During one raid on Srinagar I shot down three enemy planes. I am not to be taken lightly in a combat situation! Please warn the Thai authorities, that if they fire their SAMs at me I will retaliate, and I will destroy their batteries. There will be pain and destruction for miles. I would highly advise you to advise the Thai authorites to advise the generals on their borders to advise the commanders of the SAM batteries to not fire upon my plane, the Rose of Punjab, lest they run the risk of a swath of devestation greater than they might ever imagine! Sir, this is of the utmost importance! A man never retires from battle, this much I can assure you. When it comes to force I am an old master, like one with chess pieces only my pawns are men. I have no fear of spilt blood, as this is what makes for a brave soldier. You tell this to your border gunners, you let them know. Please email me confirmation from the Thai authorities in English or Urdu, or run the risk of total war!

Sincerely,
Sgt. Major Cecil Choudhary

We’ll try it all again when I get another one in my mailbox.