PriorBlog

After sending Waleed all of “my” personal information, I got this somewhat curious response from him:

Your information and drivers license have noted ok and i have already attached it to your winning file.
Meanwhile, since you are not enough ok, I suggest you choose a transfer option to transfer your winning prize (US$500,000) direct to your account in USA by swift transfer without you coming to Thailand.
If the idea is good and ok for you let me know so i will move process for transfer in your favour.

Awaiting your early respond,

Mr. Waleed Babiker.

NOTICE: Pls noted the winning claim process was written,pasted and signed officialy,no compromise or deducted.

Who knows what that last line is supposed to me. What surprises me is that he suggests I just take $500,000 instead of the $5,000,000 I was initially promised. I noted this in my response, and pressed him to meet me in Bangkok:

Hello Waleed,

I’m stumped (in more ways than one). What do you mean when you say that I am “not enough ok.” I think I would be better off travelling to Thailand, because that prize is $5,000,000, whereas the transfer, while simple, is only for $500,000. Thats a $4,500,000 difference. Thats a whole year of playing third base for the San Diego Padres. No way would I turn down that money just because I had to go to Thailand to get it!

Trust me, for that much money I would live in Thailand for a few years, much less make a short visit there. So lets make arrangements to meet in Bangkok. What day is good for you?

David

Waleed then responded that he would be waiting for the details of my flight. Now at this point, it’s tempting to get lazy and just get a flight number and arrival time and fire it off to Waleed. Then, when the big day comes, you can kind of hope he’s there waiting, and you can laugh to yourself about this, but doing so lacks creativity, and while it can be harmful to the scammer, it isn’t so without a requisite amount of confusion to, you know, spice things up a little. So, instead of just sending him a flight number, let’s introduce a new character into the mix, Pakistani fighter jet hero, Cecil Choudhary!

Hello Waleed,

The flights out of Boston to Bangkok require me to wait through several layovers and staging points all across the globe. This is fine for regular passengers, but when you only have one foot, it is difficult to shift your weight around during uncomfortable hours in an airport if you cannot get a seat in the waiting area. To solve this problem, I was able to get a non-stop flight to Singapore, where a pilot friend of mine (a former liaison officer inPakistani Air Force) owns a plane.  He will be flying me from Singapore’s Changi airport into Bangkok’s Don Muangon July4th. We will be leaving at 3 p.m. and arriving around 5 p.m..

Please note, and this is of the UTMOST IMPORTANCE, neither my Pakistani friend or myself know a single word of the Thai language. We therefore, in order to NOT HAVE OUR PLANE SHOT DOWN when we enter Thai airspace, need you to CONVEY to the Thai authorities the following important information:

Type of Plane: Citation X
Certification: FAA FAR Part 25, Amendment 74, Certification 3
Speed: 590 mph
Altitude when crossing the Border: 12000ft.
Length: 72.3 ft (22.0 m)
Wingspan: 63.6 ft (19.4 m)
Planes Exterior Markings: Green with Blue Trim. Left side of Fuselage Reads “The Rose of Punjab” beneath an image of an alluring young woman wearing standard issue Pakistani army fatigues.
Pilot: Cpt. Cecil Choudhary
Passenger: David Prior*
Munitions: Captain Choudhary’s Tokarev Model TT-30 pistol (for personal protection only!)

*note: this man is missing a foot.

PLEASE GET BACK TO ME with permission from the airport as soon as possible as well as letting us know WHICH RUNWAY to set down on. I realize that this is extra work for you and I apologize for that. I promise you that when we meet I will reward you handsomely for your extra trouble. Speaking of which, do you know if they have ice cream in Thailand?

Sincerely,
David Prior

We’re almost caught up to real time with this thing now. Tomorrow, Pakistan’s version of the Great Santini contacts Waleed.