PriorBlog

My friend Andy [Lastname redacted] sent me this.  I was wondering if any of the shrinks in the audience might offer their interpretation: 

i just had a dream that I was superman.  during a friendly break from battle, ursa got me to admit that I seriously had the hots for her.  her skin wasn’t as good close up, but she was still hot as shit.  i denied it, but told her I couldn’t believe she was so into General Zod, who blatantly would sell her ass down the river without a minute’s thought.  we playfully cuddled for a moment, but then it was back to business.  she or maybe one of the others whipped out some krytonite, so I had to flee and never really fully got my powers back.  I could fly, but not more than a few hundred feet at a time.  I also couldn’t do the cold breath thing as well I expected.  somehow, the trio of supercriminals turned my son– superman as portrayed by Brandon Routh, the new guy– against me.  I knew I was fucked in my weakened state, but then I remembered I had another, younger son– the guy on Smallville, who was unaware that he was the son of cal-el.  luckily, he lived in echo park as well.  I flew by the slummy hillside house where he and his mother lived, but not before dutifully painting a huge handmade card celebrating the impending start of the football season for a friend of the family in a nursing home, which I entrusted my mom to give to her.  I told the younger of my two sons who he really was, but he was unaware of any nascent superpowers.  I knew I had my work cut out for me, having to train him in very short order if I was to get his help against non, ursa, zod, and his older half-brother.  I also knew that zod et al had some way of tracking me, so I had to get us out of there asap.  we snuck into some latina girl’s quinceanera elsewhere on the hillside.  i figured having superman show up would provide the thrill of a lifetime, but she didn’t give a shit– there already were at least two other off-duty superheroes in attendance.  one of them was whoever ben affleck played in some movie a few years ago, except in my dream it was matt damon.  i don’t remember who the other one was– maybe the hulk?  anyway, I knew that smallville guy was going to be of minimal help and that basically  I was fucked and couldn’t even count on the adulation of a bunch of teenage mexican girls to buoy my ego.  so I went into hiding in echo park, attempting some sort of anonymous existence.  i went to non-exclusive barbeques populated by aging hipsters, and used whatever powers I had left to keep people out of trouble– thwarted muggings, saved cats from coyotes, etc.  i woke up before anything else interesting happened.