PriorBlog

In an effort to impress my friends Scott and Michael last night I mentioned that the rationale behind large department stores letting you return things is that when you come back, you will buy more crap. To dress this statement up I referred to Emile Zola’s Au Bonheur des Dames, in which the evil department store owner comes up with this and various other schemes to trample out all of the nearby mom and pop stores. This kind of ‘beware of the giant corporation’ theme is quite common these days, but Zola’s book being written in the year… I dunno, sometime before he died, stands out as, if not really a great book, at least grandly prescient. Anyhow, needless to say, saying this made me sound like a pompous windbag, but even so, it’s still very true, seeing as how Ali Larinjani and I spent like a $140+ at Ikea today because we had to return some blinds.

As we were drifting through the store, Ali, who it turns out reads this thing (hi), mentioned that I failed to mention in this blog, an incident that happened last week when we were at the store. This is what happened. Ali was walking about ten feet ahead of me, as I was fumbling along behind her with a giant cart full of “goods.” Seeing as how my proximity to my wife was somewhat distanced due to this, the impression given to passersby was one in which I wasn’t her husband. An Ikea employee, wearing one of those hats with earflaps and a buckle strap, walked by my wife, my very own Ali Larinjani, and after giving her the very briefest of lookovers, remarked to his fellow employee “[Dude,] she’s pretty hot.”

Well, I didn’t mention this because I know that Ali fears google stalkers, or at least that’s what she tells me. What she really fears is not so much guys like our warm-eared friend the Ikea stockboy finding out where she lives, but that she is in fact married to me. Although you can’t believe everything you read online. Even though I have changed her name, some people are still coming to the site from googling her name (moreso than mine actually, although the most popular search seems to be for Brett Lofgren, which has led me to consider chronicaling his life story, seeing as how I still have not gotten one searcher looking for “David Prior.”), because it is kind of “stuck” somewhere, and I have been too lazy busy with other things to take it out.

Anyhow, it’s getting late and I finally mentioned it.