PriorBlog

If I may, i would like to exhume that horse of mine, and complain about ESPN2 being taken away again. I know that it’s not the greatest of the sports channels, but without it, there are hardly any sports worth watching during the hours when I am allowed to watch (the toddler isn’t allowed to watch “teegee”). Today, I get a little bit of February weekend time and just when I tune in the Georgia Tech and UConn players are walking off the floor. Well, maybe they’ll have a double header… No, they have golf. Great. They keep all of the college basketball on the ESPN and save the most elitist sport for the free channel. Talk about rubbing it in the face of the proletariat.

Bambi rented a Pavement DVD from Netflix the other night. They sent us disc two first, which featured two live shows. I always liked Pavement but felt that there were always a number of throwaway songs on their albums. Like that album with that starts out with Summer Babe, it seemed like if you wanted to enjoy it, you only would listen to every other song.

I was never a huge Pavement head, so by the time their last two albums came out, I was barely into music in general, and kind of passed them up until years later when I discovered them on Bambi’s iPod. Those are the best albums, I think. Anyhow, we were watching some concert from 1999 in Seattle. I don’t think we would have sat through the concert if they had sent both DVDs at the same time, but since that was all we had, we actually watched it, which was kind of weird, seeing as how we were in our living room with our kid sleeping upstairs, whereas in 1999, we would have actually been at a concert. Not to be completely removed from the essense of the idling indie rocker, instead of sitting on the couch, I stood stoically nodding my head in front of the teevee with a beer in hand, until Bambi told me to knock it off because I was being ridiculous.

From watching the concert DVD, it seems like Pavement had a selective sense for their good songs as opposed to their not so good songs (with the exception of them playing Two States during the second concert featured). I would have thought that they would have liked all of their music, and not just the music that I liked, but I guess they had pretty much the same Pavement-sensibility as myself. Kind of weird, but not as weird as virtual concert going.

Even when I do go to shows now (Do I still go?) it is almost always to see some band that was popular in 1993, and consequently, everybody else in the audience is pretty much an old geek. I remember attending a few of these types of shows when I was younger in order to see some band that I was told was seminal. I would look around the room amazed that most of the other people attending used to be cool at one point. The only thing I can compare the feeling to is when I was in Mexico City and for some reason an old abbey’s cemetary inhabitants were dug up and put on display for tourists. Seeing people who were dead for so many years, and yet retaining here and there, on their faces and clothes, trace remnants of their own indiviuality, but at the same time having nothing to do with life anymore.

I don’t always feel like a corpse, only when thinking about ancient history, like when I used to go to Pavement shows and stuff like that.

We’re all going to die due to massive fluctuations in temperature. Heard about it on the news, and sure enough it was freezing today. Everytime the weather gets extreme now, it’s impossible to not think about the end of the world. Even when it’s mild, it’s too mild.

Stephen Hawking, in true English fashion, is pushing for colonizing space. Somebody with insider information told me that he is absolutely awful to work with if you are a female. We’re talking worse than Clarence Thomas. I was informed that he uses his position (some pun intended, sure) to egregiously sexually harass on a constant basis.

You may not want to believe me. You may wish to believe, that like the Dalai Lama, Dr. Hawking, by virtue of his having suffered (suffering equaling being made holy in most circles), remains above any type of criticism. I don’t buy it. I don’t buy anything, in fact, without a fair amount of skepticism (read complete doubt). Sure, this leads to a lot of complaining and whining on my part, and the part[s?] of my followers, but consider for a moment what it is like embracing each of the following opinions, the second of which is mine, the first of which is naïve.

1. Gandhi was a man of great compassion who inspired millions preaching non-violence.

2. Gandhi

a. used to practice overcoming temptation by sleeping with young girls.
b. practice makes perfect.
c. once perfection is attained, there is no need for further practice, because you cannot by definition go beyond perfection.
d. those who continue to practice are therefore not perfect.
e. Gandhi equals pervert.

Now, answer me this. Which of the above is more fun to have?

Score one for logic!

You can understand now, how when I heard about Stephen Hawking being a serial sexual harasser, I immediately chose to believe it. After all, I had to take such a simple unsubstantiated claim seriously on account of my being cynical. If you don’t believe me, consider his recent suggestions that the survival of the species depends on space colonization since we’re most likely going to annihilate the earth with nukes. Of course, the not so hidden subtext of this is that familiar dystopic male fantasy in which enforced hyperactive breeding occurs within a society greatly reduced in population.

For an example, consider this exchange from Dr. Strangelove:

[Strangelove’s plan for post-nuclear war survival involves living underground with a 10:1 female-to-male ratio]
General “Buck” Turgidson: Doctor, you mentioned the ratio of ten women to each man. Now, wouldn’t that necessitate the abandonment of the so-called monogamous sexual relationship, I mean, as far as men were concerned?
Dr. Strangelove: Regrettably, yes. But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.
Ambassador de Sadesky: I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor.

[thanks imdb.com]

Anybody who has seen the movie knows that Stephen Hawking is based on the Dr. Strangelove character.

Anyhow, you can just see Gandhi and Stephen Hawking salivating at the chance to live in outer space (or underground) with a bunch of women whose imperative it is to mate with these two hordogs until the population bounces back to a healthy six billion. Sorry guys, but you can’t pull the wool over all our eyes.

I have some very sad news. ESPN2 is no longer available on my teevee for some reason. This place will no longer be a hot spot for those of you looking to find out about college basketball. Not that I was ever an authority on the subject. Oh well, we’ll always have Paris.  Biko Paris, that is.

Sorry for not posting for a few days.  Been busy shadowing a toddler, trying to come up with positive ways to say, “don’t touch that.”

You have to be positive, only using “no” in extreme circumstances, lest you end up with a kid with low self-esteem.

• “Don’t you have better things to do than touching that?”
• “The dog looks prettier with a tail.”
• “Those Cheerios would taste better if you ate them out of a bowl instead of off the bathroom floor.”

Once the toddler figures out sarcasm, or passive aggression, or whatever the hell the above is, then we’re in trouble. The best part of my time spent with the toddler was when she started saying “Ozzie” the other day.  I thought she was saying “Ezzy,” her name for the dog, but she was pointing up and over my shoulder.  When I turned around, I saw my Ozzie Smith baseball card that I had previously wedged into the living room doorframe for decoration.

I went to a funeral today. The guy who died had lung cancer. In the parking lot outside the church, one of the attendees was smoking a cigarette. I was already in a bad mood, but this only deepened my funk. It was a Catholic mass as well, and people who were not practicing Catholics were taking communion. I always get bent out of shape over this issue.  Today was no exception. I’m not even Catholic, but sometimes, if the vestments are fancy enough, and the mass said with just the right amount of incense and ceremonial oomph, I can really sit back and enjoy a good transubstantiation. Obviously, a lot depends on the priest. If he looks goofy, too old, too young, forget about it. A lot also depends on the flock, though.  Without the proper reverent attitude, there’s no corresponding powerful feeling of God entering the room. Not that I believe in God or anything, but most people that watch the X-Files didn’t believe in paranormal phenomena, or at least not new paranormal phenomena every week. Same deal here.  I just want to enjoy the experience.

Last time I was in church before today was for a wedding. No sense of the super-sensible then either because the priest asked for prayers that the homo’s wouldn’t ruin the marriage he was about to consecrate.

One more thing, I think the mass would be more inviolable if people had to wear a certain type of uniform or garment.  It’s hard to find yourself immersed in holiness when people are wearing New England Patriots jackets.

So, after my spending a post singing the praises of Kevin Durant, I tuned in once again to ESPN2, to see a high school basketball game between the #22 ranked team in the country Loyola Academy and North Central, a school from Indiana, who has the #2 ranked high school player in the country, Eric Gordon. Loyola got most of the talk from the announcing team, however, because they featured Marcus and Jeff Jordan, the sons of Michael Jordan, who used to be a very good player for the Chicago Bullets. Eric Gordon is a different type of player than Durant, but he is probably just as good.

Here’s part of a write up on the game from the Chicago Sun-Times, since I am sick of trying to come up with superlatives for basketball players:

Gordon, who broke the hearts of many Illinois fans in the fall when he reneged on a commitment to the Illini and signed with Indiana, finished with 43 points on 17-for-25 shooting, five rebounds, four steals and three assists.

He showed that he was a prime-time player in front of a crowd that included not only Jordan, whose sons Jeff and Marcus play for Loyola, but former Thornridge, Indiana and NBA great Quinn Buckner.

I haven’t seen the number one ranked high school player O.J. Mayo play yet, save for a couple of video montages on Youtube (check out the falling ref one for a laugh), but I have a hard time believing he could be all that better than Gordon was last night. All in all, I am starting to worry that these players may be getting too good.

The announcers kept on talking about the brothers Jordan the whole game though, and everytime they did, they would flash over to the elder Jordan in the crowd, taking in the game. I wonder if there was a point where he just said to himself, you know what, my kids are down 21 points, I’m just going to sit back and watch this Gordon guy light up the night. I wonder if he thought, I wish Gordon was my kid. Even though Marcus Jordan is only a sophmore and supposedly has huge potetial, I wouldn’t trade both of the Jordan brothers for this Gordon kid.

You’ll be happy to know that I didn’t tune into the St. Joe’s University v. St. Louis University game that followed.  Who would watch that save for alumns?  or people who just discovered they have ESPN2?

I have some new heroes.

From today’s Boston.com

Surrounded by reporters, Berdovsky stroked his lengthy dreadlocks and delivered a discourse on haircut styles in the 1970s, Afros, and the Beatles’ hair styles.

“We are only taking questions on hair,” he said.

The men’s lawyer, Michael L. Rich, stood awkwardly by their side.

“He’s a performance artist,” said Rich. “If you don’t like what you are seeing here, why don’t you leave them alone.”

The two criminal defendents alternately smiled and made ironic grimaces. “I’m quite enjoying this,” said Berdovsky.

After a few minutes, clearly frustrated reporters walked away and the two men left.

I find it shocking the way the cityhall is trying to cover up completely embarrassing itself by harassing these guys.  But, my shock and indignation is overwhelmed by the brilliance with which they are sticking it to Menino et al.  “We’re only taking questions on hair!”  Yes, yes, yes!!! 

One of the problems with sports video games used to be that the better you got at them, the less they reflected reality.  I am not sure if this is still the case. I’ve consciously made an effort to stay away from the Maddens and MVP Baseballs of the world because I know with those graphics I would get hopelessly addicted. The old games at least, when you got a handle on them, you could completely dominate with a great team, and then dominate with a good team, and then dominate with a mediocre team with a star player, and so on down the line until you could be winning championships with a team that went 2-14 in real life. At this point, it was time for a new game.

This past week there were some slight changes to our cable package, which I think Comcast refers to as their Clear Reception Deal. Previously we got CBS, Local Access, and a couple of Spanish channels. However, I noticed the other night, that I suddenly have ESPN2. Even though they were broadcasting a poker game, I made a very large note to self: Channel 65 equals ESPN2. For people that have all of the ESPNs, this is probably laughable, but for me, who hasn’t had any ESPN for over a year now, this was the great awakening.

The first few times I fired up the teevee (something I rarely did when I didn’t have ESPN) to see what was on, I didn’t get much. Poker, highlights from that incredibly boring Super Bowl when the Giants lost to the Ravens 5-2, flyfishing. Last night, though, after I took the dogs out and was headed towards bed, I stopped before passing the teevee and said, let’s just see what channel 65 has on.

It looked like highlights, they were showing big plays by Jarius Jackson and Kevin Durant from the Texas Tech-Texas game. Aw man, I thought to myself, that looks like it was a great game. The highlights went on and on, enough highlights for a post game wrap up, but you know what? It was only halftime! Finally lucky channel 65 had come through for me!  I settled down to watch the second half of a tight Big Twelve basketball game.

Which brings me back to the gulf between video games and reality when a little expertise is aquired. Watching Kevin Durant was like seeing Barry Bonds the year he hit 73 homers.  The kid was just unreal. Every time Texas Tech missed a shot, Durant got the rebound.  He had twenty-three rebounds! Sometimes a guy will get hot in basketball, and you’ll just kind of ride the wave watching him, seeing how long he can keep it up before a few shots brick and he returns to normal. Well that didn’t happen last night. He was too good to believe, it was like there was somebody behind the controls who knew the game inside and out.  I noticed a stat at the half, that he was shooting 7-17.  He ended the game 15-29, and lot, if not most, of those were outside or heavily guarded shots. He had more points in the second half than the other team.

After the game I learned that had I been watching ESPN2 earlier, I could have also seen Greg Oden play, but Bambi was watching teevee at that point while I was busy beautifing this here website. If anybody is interested in using my old Bill Moyers Wordpress Template, let me know.