PriorBlog

The other day my brother-in-law Matt was going to come over to watch the football game (the Eagles lost), so before he showed up I decided to grab some beers at the local packy.* Halfway there I decided to go to a nearby beer superstore type of place, the type of which I usually only go to before going to Clark’s, because Clark knows quality beer from crap. I thought, you know, why not get something special? When I got there, the choices of good beer, as opposed to the usual Sierra versus Sam, really threw me for a loop and I ended up getting a variety pack of Mendocino Brewing Company Beers and a sixer of Brooklyn 55 Pennant Ale. At a later point in time I will probably recount my experience with the 55 Dodgers, but for now let’s just say that the 55 Dodgers Pennant Ale, or whatever it’s called is good, but packs a wallop. The Mendocino, however, is even more hard hitting, and right now, having had one and a half, I am worried about actually posting this thing because, well, I am slightly plastered.

Tonight, you see, is knitting night. Bambi is out of the house, so I can do whatever I want, which means I am playing Statis Pro Baseball (something I am NEVER allowed to do when she is around) and drink 7.0%/8.0% beers.

I pitted the 1978 Blue Jays versus the 1978 Pirates. Originally I was going to have one of the Pirates lesser pitchers throw to even things out a little, but when I saw the Bert Blyleven card all I could think was, ‘here’s a hall of fame pitcher, who’s not allowed in the hall. If he wins this game, he’s in. But if he loses, he’ll never get in.’ So the pressure was on.

The Blue Jays pitched Jim Clancy, but it should be noted for Jays fans, Jim Clancy was not exactly Jim Clancy in 1978. Either way, Clancy held his own until the third inning when Bert Blyleven of all people hit an RBI double to score Phil Garner.

Other future managers in the game included Clarence “Cito” Gaston and Tim “Just Back from Nam” Johnson. I put Gaston in there for the Pirates, but Johnson sat.

The first beer I had was called “Eye of the Hawk.” I have to say, I think it was too strong to be good.

The Jays put a lot of runners on, but couldn’t get any runs. Meanwhile, Clancy looked to be tiring in the bottom of the fourth. Willie Stargell led off the inning with a single. Then Clancy bore down and struck out Dale Berra, Cito Gaston, and Phil Garner. What impressed me was that Clancy didn’t have his best stuff. He had to battle to get each guy.

In the fifth Frank Tavares led off the inning with a double, but an alert John Mayberry pointed out that Tavares missed first base on his way to second. The Jays got the out on an appeal play. There was chaos in the stands of Three Rivers. People wanted Blyleven in the Hall, but he would have to earn it!

I have to pee some of those beers out, but before I do I should tell you that right now Bambi’s iPod is on shuffle and Bright Eyes has just come on who she loves and I hate. I think he’s overly earnest, she thinks he’s cute. I think every one of his songs seems rushed, as though he is a hurry to establish his importance. He sounds like somebody who would love to be compared to Dylan. If Lloyd Bentsen were alive he would say, “Bright Eyes, I listened to Dylan, I had most of his albums. Bright Eyes, you’re no Bob Dylan. You’re not even Elliott Smith.” Oh uh, now Bright Eyes is forced to scream to get his point across. He just used the term “pawns in the game”. This is the first time I have ever heard this song. I swear it came after I made my he wants to be compared to Dylan comments, but you’ll never believe me so I’ll just enjoy the moment myself. Okay, off to pee, and when I come back a story about Bob Dylan comparisons and a guy who hated me.

But before I tell you about the guy who hated me (and why he had every right to), let me just tell you that the Blue Jays have tied the game on a solo homer by John Mayberry! 1-1 in the top of the sixth.

Anyhow, many years ago, an old girlfriend and I were coming home from some concert or party or something. I forget what we were doing or where we had been. All I remember is that we were kind of heading towards breaking up, and since I wanted to push the issue, I decided to pick a fight with her friends who were nice enough to give us the ride home.

Another song I don’t like came on the iPod so I decided to listen to some Steve Ballerene. Since I can’t figure out how to convert m4a’s to mp3’s you might have to have iTunes or an Apple or something to properly download it. Either way, give a listen while you can, because when Steve finds out that I am putting up his music without his permission there will be hell to pay. This is one of my favorite songs.

Bottom of the sixth. Stargell up for the Pirates. The pitch… Long Drive… Deep… Gone!! Pirates take back the lead 2-1.

We’re back in the car now, and I tell the people driving us home that Christianity is far more impressive than any other religion, not that I really believe this, but I was certain that it would cause an uproar. I was drunk, gimme a break. At least I was right about causing an uproar. They dropped us off about a half mile from home and we fought until her doorstep, where we promptly broke up.

Blyleven sacrifices home an insurance run in the bottom of the seventh. Pirates 3 Blue Jays 1.

A few months later, when we were friends again but not dating, and she invited me to a party. While I was there, a guy was listening to Neutral Milk Hotel, so I told him I had been listening to that album a lot and really liked it. In response the guy got in my face and started telling me that no, I didn’t get it. NMH was going to be the next Dylan. I told the guy that there was no reason to get upset, I liked the album too.# But he kept on pressing the issue. Didn’t I get it? The next Dylan?

I thought the guy was going to punch me for not liking the band enough. I had to back away even though one of my favorite songs on the album was coming up. That’s when my ex-girlfriend Malone, always with a keen sense for where and when “drama” was breaking out, showed up and ushered me away.

“Do you realize who that is? It’s the guy you picked a fight with over Buddhism and Christianity!”

He was looking to get me back via Neutral Milk Hotel. Oh well.

The Jays get two on to start the top of the eighth, but Mayberry hits into a double play. In the top of the ninth, Blyleven secures entry into the Hall of Fame by getting Dave McKay to line out to win the game 3-1.

* In Massachusetts this is not an ethnic slur, it means package store, which means liquor store.

# As the years have passed I have grown to a much greater appreciation of the album in question “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea,” maybe as much as the guy who wanted to argue with me about it.