“Don’t hold aloof from animals’ problem, think about them. If we don’t help them, who will?”
–“Joel Wayman” of “Green World”
I got the job.“Green World” has just emailed to tell me that “We looked thoroughly through your resume and you are the one we choose for this job.” Not only that, but since it’s Christmas time, I get seven percent of the money going through those bank accounts that they want me to set up for them (or him). I told them I was very excited. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to draw this out for a couple of weeks like with my old buddy Falex.
Non-stop Christmas music over the PA system at work. At least it’s not soft rock. This is on the “Oldies Station,” another manifestation of omnipresent and derivative media. But you know, I’m glad that I get to hear these songs at work, because otherwise, when would I get the chance to listen to them?Here are some of my favorite Christmas tunes:
*That dlightfully ebullient Mariah Carey rendition “All I want for Christmas.” If there’s one thing that gets my toes a tappin’ and fingers snappin’, it’s that little ditty.
*The Michael W. Smith song where he goes something like “DEO-OOO DEO-OOO, OH HOSANNA ROCKIN!” Every time I hear this I am completely awestruck by how awesome and awe inspiring it is. An awefully good song!
*Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer— still funny after all these years. I laugh just thinking about it. Now that’s funny.
The worst of all though is any version of that “Little Drummer Boy” song. First of all, the whole premise of the song is a big lie. Where in the gospel is there any mention of a little drummer boy? But that’s just factual. This song is also a big lie in content, because the little drummer boy contradicts himself when he brags about how humble he is. “I had an audience with Jesus, [UH-OH MICHAEL W. SMITH JUST WAS CUED UP!! PREPARE TO ROCK!!] and he was so impressed with my drumming he smiled at me.” Sure, kid. Newborns can’t smile. It was most likely just gas.
Heading down to Houston for Christmas. I am curious to see whether their Santa iconography reflects that of a climate that rarely sees snow. Instead, I have a feeling that there will be a bunch of lawn displays and such in which people are supposed to “pretend” there’s snow.